Is this what I'm supposed to look forward to...?

Well, after all is said and done, she never turned in the divorce paperwork that I thought had been turned in weeks ago. Why? My opinion is that once she got me to agree to the divorce, and she moved out, gained a new boyfriend, etc... she knew that she could throw it on the backburner. Kind of like, leave me in limbo, not knowing what is going on.
I got her to give me the paperwork, and I took it to the courts. I finalized the divorce by turning it in. When I told her, she acted surprised that I had done it the same day. I am not sure if she thinks that I can and still want to salvage the relationship, or make it drag on. I don't. She doesn't love me, and she has her new man. That is enough for me to know that there is no reason to hang on.
How confusing is all this to someone's mental health....? Very. I would be going insane if I didn't have my friends at work supporting me, and advising me to "keep it together".
I fell. When I say I fell, I mean I screwed up. Two days ago, I saw her when she dropped off my daughter. I remembered how it felt to hold her, and to kiss her. I told her that I was going to go and see a comedy on the upcoming weekend, and that if she wanted to, she could meet me there.
Now, when we started the divorce proceedings, she had asked me if I would still be willing to go out with her on occassion, and to have sex with her. At the time, I didn't know there was another guy.
So, I proposed this to her, thinking how this was the last week that we would be legally married, and that I wanted to hold her one last time. She got a sad look on her face, and told me that she'd think about it.
The next day, I asked if she was going to meet me, and she got the same look. She then said that it was too hard.
I am reminded how she attempts, and succeeds at controlling every and all situations. Once again, by being a wimp, I was going to allow her to have me on a leash. I feel lost, and was looking to hold onto a familiar object one last time. It would have been easier if she had cursed me out once again, or if she had slapped me. Obviously I mean nothing to her.
I thank my partner at work. I hope I never show him this blog, because he has told me, that after all she has done to me, he would kick me in the boys, if he ever found me trying to get together with her in any way, shape, or form.
He is right, and I am a wimp. I am scared to death of asking anyone to go out with me. I feel like anyone I approach will have the mentality of "shit, here comes that fat guy. I have to deal with him".
My friend tells me that is not the case, but from my view, it is pretty clear. She has guys all over her. I knew she would. I have nothing. Nobody. What I do have is quiet, unwanted Solitude. Is this what I'm supposed to look forward to...?